for the sex kitten in you, the 100 day relationship
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2. The Fuck-It List *NSFW*

Something you’ll learn about me if you continue reading this blog is that I am a list person. I like their straightforwardness and the way they make lots of action items feel do-able (pun definitely intended). It just so happens that they are also very readable for an online audience, so, wins all around!

Anyway, welcome to Day 2!

Today we’re going to talk about sex.

I love sex. My sexual career began rather unceremoniously at the age of 15 when I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend and first love . The first time we tried it hurt too much and we had to stop. I cried the whole way home wailing I’m never going to be good at this! Luckily we tried again and, well, it worked out. I owe a great deal of credit to that first boyfriend. It was with him that I felt sexy and confident enough to begin exploring my quirks and kinks at a very young age. We played with toys and location and dirty talk and costume. I would sometimes sneak out of my house and he would tie me to things. I discovered that I liked to play with dominance and submission.

In the years since then I have had *ahem* a few more sexual partners. Some good, some comically bad, some extraordinary. One thing I have learned, above all, is that it’s important to openly talk about sex as early in a new relationship as possible. There are lots of factors that contribute to the falling out of a relationship, but sex is among the top.

Here’s a short-list of some important questions to ask at the beginning:

  1. Do you have sex? Are you waiting until marriage? If you’re waiting until marriage, what kind of intimacy are you comfortable with?
  2. When was your last STD check?
  3. What’s your sexual archetype? (I love this article for feminine archetypes and this one for masculine)
  4. How often do you like to have sex? (This one is super important, if one of you wants sex often and the other is fine with once a week (or month), there will be problems)

Even when we were just friends, G and I were super open with each other about sex-talk. The alignment of our erotic curiosities contributed to deepening of our relationship. Now that we have found ourselves committed to one another, the possibilities feel endless. It’s for this reason that we have decided to create a sexual bucket-list, a Fuck-It List to be exact.

We have only just started adding items to the list, but here are a few things we’ve come up with so far:

  • Explore dominance and submission
  • Go to a sex club together (play with voyeurism)
  • Tantra – breathing, practice, touch
  • Have a threesome (FFM)
  • Recreate erotic movie scenes (complete with costume)
  • Experiment with toys (vibrators, gags, whips, restraints)
  • Sensory play (giving and receiving)

Have you ever created a list like this with your partner? What were your takeaways?

 

 

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