Separation is brutal no matter what, but having to add the government into the mix makes everything so much more unpleasant.
In the grand scheme of things, my divorce has been mild in comparison to the horror stories I’ve heard. To start, we never had kids or bought a home together. These two things alone take the separation from a 10 to about a 5 on the Richter scale of emotional upheaval.
Today I am missing my ex-husband.
I’m not missing our home, I’m not missing going out to dinner with him, and I’m certainly not missing the loneliness I felt for most of our relationship.
No, today I am missing the comfort of his love.
My soon-to-be-ex husband went out of town this week for work and said that I could come by the apartment to get the last of my things while he was away. I hadn’t been back to ‘our’ home in over a month. I went over right after nightfall to avoid an awkward neighbor run-in and immediately felt a sense of unease when I pulled into the complex.
It’s 10:01 am on a Tuesday in March and I am lonely. I’m sitting in my ‘writing chair’ looking out at the snow that has accumulated overnight and wishing I had someone to talk to. I don’t even have anything special to talk about, I just miss mornings with a partner.
I have been separated from my husband for 2.4 months and I’m still alive so it seems like as good a time as any to talk about what it has been like and some of the survival tricks I have amassed thus far.