Distance does funny things to relationships, especially new ones.
I have spent a total of one week away over the last two weeks and the contrast is wildly obvious.
When face to face, G is talkative, affectionate, inquisitive. But when I leave town or he does, it’s different.
When traveling, I like to be more playful and conversational on text or phone, it helps me feel connected to him. This is unlike me.
Yesterday, Gavin called one of his closest friends to give him the good news about our new relationship.
His friend had jumped around excitedly exclaiming ‘Yes, yes, yes!’
I notice that I’ve been putting off sharing the full details of this love story. I realize this is ridiculous because here I am sharing every day of my relationship except for how the damn thing actually got started.
For this, I apologize. I have been putting off sharing because the whole thing still carries a fair amount of shame for me.
If you’re the type of person who likes to spend a lot of time driving on long, flat highways, you may want to consider visiting the great state of Wyoming. I am writing this from the backseat of a rented Yukon mini-tank on my sixth consecutive hour of gazing out the window thinking about life. There’s something about giant swaths of nothingness that allows even the busiest of brains to slow down and take stock. Today I am thinking about relationship to self. I’ve jumped into a new relationship (and this corresponding project) a very short time after ending a ten-year relationship with another man. There is a big part of me that still feels unsure and unsteady about this decision. Looking out the window this morning, I’m able to find some clarity about my subtle, yet persistent unease. My fear has nothing to do with Gavin or Evan (my ex-husband) and everything to do with me. I am afraid of losing myself again… or still. I allowed myself to be swallowed up by my …
It’s day 3 and I’m traveling with my family for the weekend. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my family (most of the time).
But is it so wrong that I just want to be around Gavin every moment of every day for the foreseeable future?
Today we’re going to talk about sex.
I love sex. My sexual career began rather unceremoniously at the age of 15 when I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend and first love .
It’s April 3rd. This day has not held much significance in the past, but today is different, today Gavin and I are starting our relationship. I want to be honest about something: I’m fucking terrified. I’ve known this man for a long time, nearly three years. Before there were any romantic feelings, we referred to each other as ‘soul friends’ and that’s exactly what it has felt like. We deeply connected the first time we met and that connection has only strengthened over time. For nearly 8 months, a real romantic relationship between us has been either forbidden due to marriage or avoided due to bad timing. Now, today, I am sitting across the table from him and he is my boyfriend. Under normal circumstances, this would make anyone excitedly jump into a delightful love bubble for the next ___ months. In the past I have fallen face-first into the Honeymoon phase… you know the one… can’t think about anything else, having so much sex you get a UTI, unable to go 5 minutes without bringing …